Obama's debt expert yells at kids  —  Alan Simpson referred to Snoop Dogg (left) and Eminem (right) in his tirade.  —  AP Photo  —  Alan Simpson might need to freshen up on his pop culture.  —  The co-chairman of President Obama's deficit commission tried to scold the elderly on Monday …

Walker: Border meeting with Dems ‘ridiculous’  —  (CNN) — Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker on Monday dismissed as “ridiculous” a letter from a Democratic state Senate leader who suggested a meeting “near the Wisconsin-Illinois border” to discuss the state's budget impasse.

Missing: Marizela Perez  —  I just got off the phone with my family.  —  This is my beautiful cousin, Marizela Perez:  —  She is a University of Washington undergrad and she has been missing since Saturday afternoon, when she left the Rainier Beach neighborhood headed to the UW Seattle campus.

Discord Fills Washington on Possible Libya Intervention  —  WASHINGTON — Nearly three weeks after Libya erupted in what may now turn into a protracted civil war, the politics of military intervention to speed the ouster of Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi grow more complicated by the day — for both the White House and Republicans.

White House memo notes shortage of applicants for contest to have Obama to speak at high school graduation  —  The White House is ramping up an effort to promote a nationwide competition to decide which high school wins a commencement speech by President Obama.

Obama Clears Way for Guantánamo Trials  —  WASHINGTON — President Obama on Monday reversed his two-year-old order halting new military charges against detainees at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, permitting military trials to resume with revamped procedures but implicitly admitting …

Florida Republicans at Odds With Their Leader  —  TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Rick Scott, the conservative Republican billionaire who plucked the governor's job from the party establishment in November with $73 million of his own money and the backing of the Tea Party, vowed during his campaign …

Mitt Romney, the most transparent candidate  —  We're all for transparency these days, and if anything is transparently clear about American politics, it is that Mitt Romney will do or say anything to become president.  The best guess is that at heart he is an old-fashioned, business-oriented Republican.

Rep. Alcee Hastings Sued by Employee for Sexual Harassment: “Unwelcome Sexual Advances” and “Unwelcome Touching”  —  Hastings Allegedly Retaliated Against Victim for Complaining About Conduct  —  Judicial Watch, the public interest group that investigates and prosecutes government corruption …

Report says too many whites, men leading military  —  WASHINGTON - The U.S. military is too white and too male at the top and needs to change recruiting and promotion policies and lift its ban on women in combat, an independent report for Congress said Monday.

FIRED!  Charlie Sheen Axed From ‘Two And A Half Men’, He Fires Back & Vows To Sue  —  UPDATED: It's over for Charlie Sheen on the hit CBS comedy Two and a Half Men.  But his ongoing war with the series producer Warner Bros. TV is far from over, with lawyers for both sides expected to take the lead in the coming weeks.

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Scott Brown Begs David Koch For Money  —  At the public dedication of MIT's David H. Koch Integrative Cancer Institute last Friday, Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA) effusively thanked conservative billionaire David Koch for supporting his election in 2010 and made a plea for help in his re-election campaign next year.

Sessions: Democrats proposing ‘fake cuts’ to budget  —  Senate Budget Committee Ranking Member Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) on Monday said the Senate Democrat proposal to cut about $6.5 billion from FY 2010 levels proposes only “fake cuts” to government spending, and said a vote in favor of that proposal is a vote to “do nothing.”

Our Ross Cares About the Gurlz  —  That would be Ross Douthat in his latest column.  He truly, truly cares about the gurlz (well, straight gurlz) and wants them to be happy.  In order to do that, he recommends that they use an aspirin held between the knees as the contraceptive choice.

Senate Democrats ask for help with their 2012 slogan  —  The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, the campaign arm of Senate Democrats, needs your help.  No, not a check, at least not this time.  —  The DSCC wants help coming up with a new slogan for bumper stickers and other paraphernalia that it gives out this cycle.

President Obama Will Nominate Commerce Secretary Locke as US Ambassador to China  —  ABC News has learned that President Obama intends to nominate Commerce Secretary Gary Locke as his next Ambassador to China.  —  Locke is the first Chinese-American to be Secretary of Commerce.

Arab media says Gaddafi looking for exit deal  —  (Reuters) - Two Arab newspapers and al Jazeera television said on Monday Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi was looking for an agreement allowing him to step down, but there was no official confirmation of the reports.

Rules of Misbehavior  —  Dan Savage, the brilliant and foul-mouthed sex columnist, has become one of the most important ethicists in America.  Are we screwed?  —  ive months after the death of Esther “Eppie” Lederer in 2002, the bulk of her estate—a sprawling Chicago apartment's worth of furniture …